Why does becoming calm/stable help? Well, if u are not engaged, raged to get in to a fist fight u can get out clean. You can undergo material loss (say a few hundred/thousand units of money … I would not have more than that to lose;) but you did not lose your poise, you did not hurt someone, to stay calm in a difficult situation takes enormous courage …to know u can harm and to stay calm u become capable of observing…u can take a leap from mad reaction going on inside and stop protecting, safeguarding urself from mad fear/hatred/ suspicion we have for others which makes us violent so easily…there is less of fear, less of self, more observation more about others…more units of existence, quality existence
Was a stickler for keeping my words, the rickshaw guy asked for more money than what is fair (I agreed absentmindedly), I usually give them tips but today I wasn’t willing. I didn’t hanker after the literal truth, just paid what was fair, the regular rate. That moment I saw that there was graduation from training myself to be honest by keeping literally all words I say to being honest in intention. To read the intention with wisdom, that training in disciplining the mind was needed …just to discipline/prepare the mind for the next step- purity in intention. Now with that wisdom dearie take decisions with an honest base, with a base that is neither too selfish nor too sacrificing, abstaining from what may be unfair to others or to myself!
what happened in the past was constant comparison, constant trade going on in my mind with other possible options of living my life, I lived for nothing, nobody, just myself. Fucking truth.
Yet there are things …there is less of ignorance, there is little need for entertainment, movies or songs, am learning basics and even more simpler more basic facts.
Today when I woke up my state was different...the fear of being alone with no family was there ...as stark as i had encountred suddenly middle of the night during innumerable nights, but then there is that incomprehensible which engages me...and i forget, i forget!
and i walk this empty street :))
Was a stickler for keeping my words, the rickshaw guy asked for more money than what is fair (I agreed absentmindedly), I usually give them tips but today I wasn’t willing. I didn’t hanker after the literal truth, just paid what was fair, the regular rate. That moment I saw that there was graduation from training myself to be honest by keeping literally all words I say to being honest in intention. To read the intention with wisdom, that training in disciplining the mind was needed …just to discipline/prepare the mind for the next step- purity in intention. Now with that wisdom dearie take decisions with an honest base, with a base that is neither too selfish nor too sacrificing, abstaining from what may be unfair to others or to myself!
what happened in the past was constant comparison, constant trade going on in my mind with other possible options of living my life, I lived for nothing, nobody, just myself. Fucking truth.
Yet there are things …there is less of ignorance, there is little need for entertainment, movies or songs, am learning basics and even more simpler more basic facts.
Today when I woke up my state was different...the fear of being alone with no family was there ...as stark as i had encountred suddenly middle of the night during innumerable nights, but then there is that incomprehensible which engages me...and i forget, i forget!
and i walk this empty street :))
posted by Pj at 10:23 AM
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