Is it End of Phase I ?
I was just left indecisive. A day back, the phase II of my life could have ensued. I could have happily moved to working/earning, and settling down like gentlemen/women are supposed to. Doing things like saving, investing, starting to be something, or starting something of your own…and sweet things like that. I like it, when things are clear, one way or other. A day back things stood clear and I liked it, though it was a sad fact, it was there without duality.
Now, again there is apprehension, have to wait till Monday, have to reschedule the interview…indecisiveness.
“Processes rather than the sensory data that they process, are primary in one's experience of the cosmos”
It is like phenomenon of observing becomes more important than experience (outside ‘matter’) itself. Dunnow how many lifetimes one will take to traverse the entire length and breath of experience... the varied diaspora on earth presents (and who knows elsewhere!). No number of movies can capture it nor can any amount of travel cover it, no amount of expreience can exhaust it. Any attempt to do it by these means is incomplete, shallow by any measure. World keeps changing and who knows by the time you complete one set of rounds another set of events change the face of the place completely, making it ‘new’. So if I am ignorant of movies I dunnow how much I have missed, but if I am wrong with the processing phenomena, then I know for sure I have missed out on almost an entire plane of experience, several dimensions of experience which any sensory data can trigger, a movie or any real experience…observation of breath, phenomena takes precedence/importance. It is as if you just need data, any sensory data and the process of sensation and ‘nirjara’ or discovery/realization begins…sensory input just becomes the means, a very important element but just that ‘means’.
Observing, growing with ‘experience’ or with ‘practice’ the processing of sensory data, the phenomena becomes more important than the source of the data itself (that source just seems to be as it appears to be, it is relative therefore you can just look at the reality which 'appears' at this moment, even if it is the last moment's truth it is 'memory' and again one needs to dig this moment's truth which might be different, is different), but that again requires phenomenal orientation…phase II is supposed to be easy, where I won’t have to experiment at costs I bear now, when I would be struggling but there will be benefits as well…right now its plain tough. There is no clarity, no live guidance …no reflection I can see.
But then this is a phase, soon I shall steer my ship back to calm waters, soon sky will be clear and I will be able to gather the direction am heading in, hopefully. Work will be easy then, hard work I don’t mind as long as there is clarity of heading in the right direction, as long as I have the tools unlike now when who knows I might be regressing (i have the tools but little sense of direction), might not noticing things I should…missing out for worse
Most of the time I am mislead by my own misconceptions. I am mistaken in my views. Most of the time that happens, I say without exaggeration or false modesty. Personally, right now, I’d be glad to be able to talk to someone who has right view, talking to such people you get clarity spontaneously cause there is no effort required to paint beliefs. Clarity would ‘happen’ talking to such a person, you don’t need to trust, love, believe or hate them, they just impart a perspective and it rings true, may be even open up a dimension one was not previously aware of but is in need of or is receptive to. They could be talking just about anything...and it happens :))
Glimpse of Phase II told me it is easy to live life like most others do, they are not so concerned about 'observing', relative dimensions, deeper relaity and other seemingly non essential things i am occupied with. They simply are concerned with survival and other immediate things, so am I but then there is this phenomena taking preceedence over 'matter' and me taking time to settle down with that attitude, actually when everyone around you is indulging in something else there is little to look uo to, to flow with you, to contribute to the flow, u face a lot of resistance...but that's ok
I didn’t know that a phase II existed, I thought I’d have to struggle all the while, it was a part of my whole personality. The defiance, the weirdness, the discomfort and the fire and restlessness, the uprootedness, the curiosity, the race! Now as if a light tower… I can see phase II blinking.
But the storm is still there, death right ahead, one false step and I drown.
(A lot many times I am talking to people and they may be doing something wrong right under my nose. I don’t bother…u can’t stop at every nook and corner. But if someone asked me, and if I knew I would point out a miss take. If I didn’t know, I’d most probably say it. It is wrong to deny someone an opportunity to know what you already do, if you know and can easily convey.)
am sorry if this looks like I could have said more at places, or sounds a little abstract. I have been writing for quite some time and need to work before I retire for a night's rest
Lv
Now, again there is apprehension, have to wait till Monday, have to reschedule the interview…indecisiveness.
“Processes rather than the sensory data that they process, are primary in one's experience of the cosmos”
It is like phenomenon of observing becomes more important than experience (outside ‘matter’) itself. Dunnow how many lifetimes one will take to traverse the entire length and breath of experience... the varied diaspora on earth presents (and who knows elsewhere!). No number of movies can capture it nor can any amount of travel cover it, no amount of expreience can exhaust it. Any attempt to do it by these means is incomplete, shallow by any measure. World keeps changing and who knows by the time you complete one set of rounds another set of events change the face of the place completely, making it ‘new’. So if I am ignorant of movies I dunnow how much I have missed, but if I am wrong with the processing phenomena, then I know for sure I have missed out on almost an entire plane of experience, several dimensions of experience which any sensory data can trigger, a movie or any real experience…observation of breath, phenomena takes precedence/importance. It is as if you just need data, any sensory data and the process of sensation and ‘nirjara’ or discovery/realization begins…sensory input just becomes the means, a very important element but just that ‘means’.
Observing, growing with ‘experience’ or with ‘practice’ the processing of sensory data, the phenomena becomes more important than the source of the data itself (that source just seems to be as it appears to be, it is relative therefore you can just look at the reality which 'appears' at this moment, even if it is the last moment's truth it is 'memory' and again one needs to dig this moment's truth which might be different, is different), but that again requires phenomenal orientation…phase II is supposed to be easy, where I won’t have to experiment at costs I bear now, when I would be struggling but there will be benefits as well…right now its plain tough. There is no clarity, no live guidance …no reflection I can see.
But then this is a phase, soon I shall steer my ship back to calm waters, soon sky will be clear and I will be able to gather the direction am heading in, hopefully. Work will be easy then, hard work I don’t mind as long as there is clarity of heading in the right direction, as long as I have the tools unlike now when who knows I might be regressing (i have the tools but little sense of direction), might not noticing things I should…missing out for worse
Most of the time I am mislead by my own misconceptions. I am mistaken in my views. Most of the time that happens, I say without exaggeration or false modesty. Personally, right now, I’d be glad to be able to talk to someone who has right view, talking to such people you get clarity spontaneously cause there is no effort required to paint beliefs. Clarity would ‘happen’ talking to such a person, you don’t need to trust, love, believe or hate them, they just impart a perspective and it rings true, may be even open up a dimension one was not previously aware of but is in need of or is receptive to. They could be talking just about anything...and it happens :))
Glimpse of Phase II told me it is easy to live life like most others do, they are not so concerned about 'observing', relative dimensions, deeper relaity and other seemingly non essential things i am occupied with. They simply are concerned with survival and other immediate things, so am I but then there is this phenomena taking preceedence over 'matter' and me taking time to settle down with that attitude, actually when everyone around you is indulging in something else there is little to look uo to, to flow with you, to contribute to the flow, u face a lot of resistance...but that's ok
I didn’t know that a phase II existed, I thought I’d have to struggle all the while, it was a part of my whole personality. The defiance, the weirdness, the discomfort and the fire and restlessness, the uprootedness, the curiosity, the race! Now as if a light tower… I can see phase II blinking.
But the storm is still there, death right ahead, one false step and I drown.
(A lot many times I am talking to people and they may be doing something wrong right under my nose. I don’t bother…u can’t stop at every nook and corner. But if someone asked me, and if I knew I would point out a miss take. If I didn’t know, I’d most probably say it. It is wrong to deny someone an opportunity to know what you already do, if you know and can easily convey.)
am sorry if this looks like I could have said more at places, or sounds a little abstract. I have been writing for quite some time and need to work before I retire for a night's rest
Lv
posted by Pj at 9:45 AM
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